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Mac Forum / Programming / Mac Programming / April 2008Joke: Windows Longhorn code released
This is from an advert for a website called TechRadar.com in my latest MacFormat (UK) magazine ... /* TOP SECRET Microsoft (c) Project: Longhorn(TM) SP1 Estimated release date: 2008 */ #include "win95.h" #include "win98.h" #include "leopard.h" char chew_up_some_ram[10000000]; void main() { while (!CRASHED) { if (first_time_install) { make_10_gigabyte-swapfile(); do_nothing_loop(); search_and_destroy(FIREFOX | OPPENOFFICEORG | ANYTHING_GOOGLE); hang_system(); } if (still_not_crashed) { basically_run_windows_xp(); do_nothing_loop(); } } if (!DX10GPU()) { set_graphics(aero, very_slow); set_mouse(reaction, sometimes); } // printf("Welcome to Windows 2000"); // printf("Welcome to Windows XP"); printf("Welcome to Windows Vista"); while (something) { sleep(10); get_user_input(); sleep(10); act_on_user_input(); sleep(10); flicker_led_promisingly(hard_disk); } create_general_protection_fault(); } :oD Looks about right, although is too complicated for Microsoft to write themselves, so they probably just bought it from someone else. ;o) Helpful Harry Hopefully helping harassed humans happily handle handiwork hardships ;o) Leopard source /* * Copyright (c) 1998-2005 Apple Computer, Inc. All rights reserved. * * ......... */ #include "BSD.h" #include "Linux.h" #include "darwin.h" #include "XFree86.h" #include "OpenGL.h" #include "samba.h" #include "konqueror.h" #include "VNC.h" #include "......... ........ #include " char chew_up_some_ram[10000000]; void main() { while (!CRASHED) { if (first_time_install) { apply_all_the_apple_nice_names(); make_it_all_run_on_chunky_expensive_apple_HW(); show_nice_Aqua_gui(); show_nice_ball(); } if (getYear(gestalt_id) < now() - 1,5Y ) { kill_memory_slot(); rattle_the_cheapes_toshifart_disk(); burn_some_chips(); } if (still_not_crashed) { piss_on_most_known_security_patches(); show_nice_ball(); } // printf("Welcome to Free BSD Project"); printf("Welcome to the newest, fastest, hippest, most modern, most fancy and made by Apple OS Leopard 10.5"); show_some_impressive_animation(); while (something) { sleep(10); get_user_input(); sleep(10); act_on_user_input(); sleep(10); flicker_led_promisingly(hard_disk); try_to_sell_some_ gadgets(); } create_kernel_segmentation_fault(); } Florian In article <33344081-90A6-4C31-95CB-F88710A6BBEF%edv@zschocke-berlin.de>, Florian Zschocke <edv@zschocke-berlin.de> wrote: There's no point putting attachments to messages in newsgoups that are not 'binaries' newsgroups. Most servers simply delete the attachment from non-binaries newsgroups. Helpful Harry Hopefully helping harassed humans happily handle handiwork hardships ;o) > There's no point putting attachments to messages in newsgoups that are > not 'binaries' newsgroups. Most servers simply delete the attachment > from non-binaries newsgroups. Who said anything about an attachment?  SignaturePlease send all responses to the relevant news group. E-mail sent to this address may be devoured by my very hungry SPAM filter. I do not read posts from Google Groups. Use a real news reader if you want me to see your posts. JR > > There's no point putting attachments to messages in newsgoups that are > > not 'binaries' newsgroups. Most servers simply delete the attachment > > from non-binaries newsgroups. > > Who said anything about an attachment? Dunno about attachments - I didn't see one - But my initial thought was "cute the first time, lame the second. Especially since it was clearly a cheap imitation of the version Harry posted. SignatureDon Bruder - dakidd@sonic.net - If your "From:" address isn't on my whitelist, or the subject of the message doesn't contain the exact text "PopperAndShadow" somewhere, any message sent to this address will go in the garbage without my ever knowing it arrived. Sorry... <http://www.sonic.net/~dakidd> for more info Don Bruder <dakidd@sonic.net> schrieb: > Dunno about attachments - I didn't see one - But my initial thought was > "cute the first time, lame the second. Especially since it was clearly a > cheap imitation of the version Harry posted. I would say "Harry copied". But indeed, it was as cheap as the original. Florian In article <D4643EDA-82AC-4939-8D7C-AE0644E47F88%edv@zschocke-berlin.de>, Florian Zschocke <edv@zschocke-berlin.de> wrote: > Don Bruder <dakidd@sonic.net> schrieb: > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > I would say "Harry copied". > But indeed, it was as cheap as the original. I typed the text exactly as it was written in a magazine advert ... but I'm really beginning to wonder why I bothered. :o( Helpful Harry Hopefully helping harassed humans happily handle handiwork hardships ;o) > > There's no point putting attachments to messages in newsgoups that are > > not 'binaries' newsgroups. Most servers simply delete the attachment > > from non-binaries newsgroups. > > Who said anything about an attachment? When I opened the original post there was nothing in it and my newsreader was displaying the 'binary attachment' icon, but no actual attachement. Helpful Harry Hopefully helping harassed humans happily handle handiwork hardships ;o) > > > There's no point putting attachments to messages in newsgoups that are > > > not 'binaries' newsgroups. Most servers simply delete the attachment [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > newsreader was displaying the 'binary attachment' icon, but no actual > attachement. Sounds like your news reader's malfunctioning then. SignaturePlease send all responses to the relevant news group. E-mail sent to this address may be devoured by my very hungry SPAM filter. I do not read posts from Google Groups. Use a real news reader if you want me to see your posts. JR > > > > There's no point putting attachments to messages in newsgoups that are > > > > not 'binaries' newsgroups. Most servers simply delete the attachment [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > Sounds like your news reader's malfunctioning then. Nope. That's the only message that's had the problem. If there was no attachment, then it could be that the original message was done using "fancy fonts" rather than plain text as newsgroup message should be. Helpful Harry Hopefully helping harassed humans happily handle handiwork hardships ;o) > > > > > There's no point putting attachments to messages in newsgoups that are > > > > > not 'binaries' newsgroups. Most servers simply delete the attachment [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > attachment, then it could be that the original message was done using > "fancy fonts" rather than plain text as newsgroup message should be. There is no attachment, and it's just plain text. Have a look for yourself: Message-ID: <33344081-90A6-4C31-95CB-F88710A6BBEF%edv@zschocke-berlin.de> As you can see, it's just an ordinary post. SignaturePlease send all responses to the relevant news group. E-mail sent to this address may be devoured by my very hungry SPAM filter. I do not read posts from Google Groups. Use a real news reader if you want me to see your posts. JR > > > > > > There's no point putting attachments to messages in newsgoups that > > > > > > are [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > > As you can see, it's just an ordinary post. It's not a plain text message. Looking at the headers for the original post shows: Content-Transfer-Encoding: binary which is probably where the problem comes from since it doesn't appear on ANY other message in ANY newsgroup I visit, and that must be a "problem" with the original person's newsreader, not mine. Helpful Harry Hopefully helping harassed humans happily handle handiwork hardships ;o) > > There is no attachment, and it's just plain text. Have a look for > > yourself: [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > It's not a plain text message. WRONG. It absolutely *is* a plain text message. The included Content-Type header says so: Content-Type: text/plain > Looking at the headers for the original > post shows: [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > on ANY other message in ANY newsgroup I visit, and that must be a > "problem" with the original person's newsreader, not mine. Wrong again. The Content-Transfer-Encoding header is a MIME header that: (a) indicates whether or not a binary-to-text encoding scheme has been used on top of the original encoding as specified within the Content-Type header (b) if such a binary-to-text encoding method has been used, states which one. The RFC (http://www.faqs.org/rfcs/rfc2045.html) defines these values for Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit, quoted printable, base64, 8bit, and binary. '7bit', '8bit', and 'binary' mean that no binary-to-text encoding on top of the original encoding was used. In other words, no other encoding than text/plain was used in this message. In other words, it's a plain text message. SignaturePlease send all responses to the relevant news group. E-mail sent to this address may be devoured by my very hungry SPAM filter. I do not read posts from Google Groups. Use a real news reader if you want me to see your posts. JR > > > There is no attachment, and it's just plain text. Have a look for > > > yourself: [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] > other encoding than text/plain was used in this message. In other words, > it's a plain text message. I no longer care. Why do I bother?? :o\ Helpful Harry Hopefully helping harassed humans happily handle handiwork hardships ;o) Helpful Harry <helpful_harry@nom.de.plume.com> schrieb: > There's no point putting attachments to messages in newsgoups that are > not 'binaries' newsgroups. Most servers simply delete the attachment > from non-binaries newsgroups. Hm, thats funny. I did not put anything on into it. Florian P.S.: I didn't want to say that I don't like OSX - I love it. I don't like silly jokes about other OSs. Let's talk about the real advantages and disadvantages they all have. |
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